Chapter 1 of 25

The Morning Emergency

Phone ringing

Simone

Good morning.

Nikki B

(whispering)

Simone. Do not hang up. I need you to stay on the phone with me.

Simone

(sipping coffee)

What happened.

Nikki B

I think I texted my boss.

Simone

Okay.

Nikki B

By accident.

Simone

What did you send.

Nikki B

(long pause)

The meme. The one with the cat.

Simone

Which cat meme, Nikki B. There are thousands of cat memes.

Nikki B

The one that says "I don't get paid enough for this."

Simone

...

Nikki B

With the cat looking directly into the camera.

Simone

How did you send it to your boss.

Nikki B

I was trying to send it to you! His name is right above yours in my contacts! Bradford. Before Brown. It's alphabetical, Simone. It's an alphabetical tragedy.

Simone

Has he responded.

Nikki B

That's the thing. He responded with a thumbs up.

Simone

(pause)

A thumbs up.

Nikki B

Just one. A single thumbs up. What does that mean?

Simone

It means he agrees with the cat.

Nikki B

(horrified silence)

Simone.

Simone

Nikki B, your boss sent you a thumbs up at seven in the morning. He's been thinking that cat thought for years. You just said it out loud.

Nikki B

So I'm not fired.

Simone

You might have just become his favorite employee.

Nikki B

(exhaling)

I need to sit down.

Simone

You are sitting down.

Nikki B

I need to sit down harder.